99 problems
by Applegirl3223
Summary: Hawkeye has many problems. One of them being his undercover mission for a billionaire in Seattle. Xover. Not slash


**I got the random idea while reading Fifty Shades of Grey of what if Taylor wasn't who he said he was? I actually found him a more interesting character than Christian so I did a one shot of this idea. I got the name 'Hawkguy' from the currently awesome Hawkeye comic. Enjoy.**

Problem # 97

My fingers work fast as I go through the system. Hacking isn't my specialty but after a few lessons from a genius friend, I think I'm doing pretty well. After a few more minutes I'm still not seeing anything unusual. I sigh in frustration and shut the laptop just as my phone goes off. I'm technically on my lunch break but obviously that doesn't matter when you're an assistant/bodyguard/driver for a millionaire.

"Taylor."

"Lunch is over. Get over here." Grey ends the call before I can answer. Luckily I'm across the street from his office. I slip the laptop in the bag after making sure I'm completely out of the system.

"Look it! Look Daddy! It's Hawkguy!" A little boy squeals while holding his dad's hand. Kids ALWAYS recognize me. It's why I try to stay out of places where they're bound to be. These two just walked in. His dad picks him up and gives an apologetic smile then continues on. At first I think I'm good but right at the door the dad stops to look at me again. His eyes widen. Shit! I practically run out of the coffee shop. Being an Avenger and being undercover seem to be contradictory things. Hell I said exactly that when Fury originally approached me to do this. It started about a year before the Avengers Initiative and the "New York Incident", as the media calls the alien invasion. Fury had been hearing from spies that a certain Christian Grey has been funding HYDRA. I thought it laughable then and still do but Fury wants me here until we know for sure. He set up an interview for me, after paying the old driver handsomely to quit then made sure my application moved to the front. Gave me a fake name, birth date, SS number, the works. He even let me go back to being a natural blond since everyone was used to seeing me with darker hair. It was difficult as hell getting time off to "help my sick uncle" AKA S.H.I.E.L.D work or now Avengers but after proving how useful I am, Grey gives me time off without batting an eye. I pull up to the office and get out to open the door. He gets in, eyes never leaving his phone. Once the door is shut, I get back in. The silence usually doesn't bother me but in the past week Christian's latest victim-er, I mean girlfriend? That doesn't sound right either. Either way her name's Ana and I can tell she's had an effect on him in the short amount of time they've been together. I haven't seen her lately though. He must've upset her bad. I glance in the mirror at him, about to say something when a van catches my eye. As it speeds by I see a woman banging on the glass. That's never good. To intervene or not? Do you even have to guess? I step on the gas pedal and switch lanes just in time as we get onto the highway.

"Taylor what's going on? We're going the wrong way. I can't be late to this meeting." Grey doesn't sound too happy. Tough cookies.

"Sorry sir. I believe there's a kidnapping in progress."

"You can't lie better than that?"

"Look at the van in front of us." He sighs but leans forward anyway. The girl sees me following and starts gesturing wildly. Someone sitting next to her hits her, hard. She's out instantly.

"Shit! I'm calling 911."

"You do that sir." I keep dipping and dodging cars as I try to keep up while he relays the information to the dispatcher.

"They're sending cars out and a helicopter."

"We're here now, I'm going to get that girl."

"Are you out of your mind? What are you going to do?!"

"I need you to stay calm sir and take the wheel."

"What?!"

"Take. The. Wheel." I pull a small gun from under my shirt as I come up next to the speeding van. There's a man driving. I spot the kidnapped woman on the seat in the back next to another man who gives me the finger. I'll make sure he regrets that. By now Grey has climbed over to the passenger seat and has taken the wheel. The guy who gave me the finger slides open his door to point a gun of his own at me.

"Watch out!" Grey yells. Luckily the van swerves so the bullet misses by a mile. I don't. My shot hits him in the chest.

"John!" His friend screams. "You motherfucker! I'll kill you!" He then tries ramming into us. The idiot. This car's a lot sturdier than what he's driving. He'll end up killing himself AND the girl. I open the door and jump into the van before Grey can stop me. The guy swerves, trying to get me to fall out. Doesn't work. I manage to keep my balance as I climb over to the passenger seat. He's trying to hit me the entire time.

"You punch like a girl," I tell him then punch him on the side of his head. The van's swerving the entire time until finally it crashes off to the side of the road. I'm in a daze at first then I see the dumbass running down the highway. Grey pulls over right behind us as I take off after the kidnapper.

"Check the girl!" I shout to him then push myself harder. He doesn't get far before I catch up. I tackle him.

"Thought you could get away huh? How's that working out for you?" I turn him over to face me.

"Hey, you look like Hawk-" My fist cuts him off.  
"Say another word and I'll punch you harder." Blood starts running down his lip. He touches it and looks at me in fear. In the distance I hear sirens. Grey comes up to us carrying the girl.

"Is she okay?" He nods.

"She's just unconscious."

"Where'd you learn to do all of this? I mean I know what your resume said but still…" His voice trails off, waiting for a response. Luckily I'm saved from having to respond because police cars pull up. I need a drink or four. Jeez I feel like Tony now.

Problem # 98

"I'm giving you the rest of the day off to help my brother," Grey tells me as I open his door. Ana thanks me as I help her out. His mood's been better since she came back. "He's over at his office. He wants you to help him move a few things into a new space he bought." He studies me briefly. Been doing that a lot lately since I stopped that kidnapping. It's more of a 'Who the hell is this guy really?' look. He finally just gives me a curt nod, dismissing me. It doesn't take long to get to his brother's place. In fact he's waiting outside for me on the phone. When the car pulls up he ends the call and goes to open the door.

"Hey Jason! How are you?" I always liked Elliot. He's a friendly guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. "Just need your help moving these pieces to me new office and didn't trust anyone else to do it."

"It's no problem sir."

"We do this every time," He sighs and rolls his eyes. "It's Elliot."

"Sorry…Elliot."  
"Better. Now let's get to it." It takes us about an hour to get the art moved to his new office. When we finish, he gets me a beer. We stand outside watching the traffic go by and chatting about the football season when a silver, topless Benz pulls up.

"Merida I've been looking everywhere for you! I tried calling, texting, stealing your address from Snake and waiting at your house. Nothing! Are you trying to avoid me honey?" Tony Stark is grinning at me.

"How'd you know?" In actuality I rarely used the phone he'd probably been trying to reach me on, gotten a new one but never told him. It surprised a few outsiders when they'd catch our interactions. Everyone expected Tony to get along well with Bruce, they're science bros and all that, but never the two of us. I can't explain it. Our personalities just go well together I guess.

"Well I've come to take you out to lunch. Who's your friend? You're not cheating on me are you?"

"Elliot Grey, Tony Stark. Tony this is Elliot Grey."

"Tony Stark?" Elliot asks. "Iron Man?"

"That's right! Now you get a prize." Tony looks at me.

"Let's go Jimmy."

"Jason."

"John."

"Jason."

"James."

"Wait." Elliot cuts in. "How do you two know each other?"

"Old friends," I answer. Then get a stupid idea. "Wanna go out with us?"

"Can I?"

"Why the hell not? Any friend of Jared's is a friend of mine." I shoot Tony a look, not that it does anything. Elliot climbs into the back. Soon we're zipping down the street to a small diner I go to all the time. Inside, we grab a booth. Tony sits next to me and Elliot across from us. After Liz (the waitress) takes our order Elliot begins asking Tony questions about his energy technology. It's a boring discussion to me so I tune out. I'm in the middle of blowing bubbles into my Coke when I see a familiar little boy, this time with his mom. Of course he sees me too.

"Mommy it's Hawkguy! It's Hawkguy!" He squeals. She glances at me and apologizes.

"I'm sorry. He's been going on and on about Hawkeye since last week at a coffee shop. Come on Nathan."

"But it's really Hawkguy!" She drags him away much to Tony's amusement.

"Hawkguy? Really?"

"Shut up Tony."

"I knew it!" Shit. I forgot about Elliot. By the look in his eyes, I can tell the dots have connected. "You ARE Hawkeye."

"Tell me more," Tony encourages as he rests his chin on a hand.

"I follow superhero stuff way more than my brother. I knew you looked familiar when he hired you, despite the blond hair. I told Christian who you looked like and he brushed it off. Why're you working for him? Don't get me wrong, you're my favorite Avenger but why are you here?"

"Hawkeye's your favorite? Man!"

"Oh come on Tony. Ten year olds love you."

"Haha."

"I'm sorry Elliot but I can't tell you-"

"S.H.I.E.L.D has gotten wind your brother's funding HYDRA." Thanks Tony for revealing a classified mission.

"What?! There's no way he'd fund something like that."  
"Shhhh, that's what I've been saying but the Director want's us to make sure," I explain.

"'Us'?"

"There's a few agents working undercover in his company."

"Where would you even get this idea?"

"A tip from the CIA. Said they'd hearing that Madame Hydra has been getting money out of the company, whether Christian was giving it to her or she was stealing it they didn't know. We've been working to figure out what's going on."

"There's no way he would do something like that. She has to be stealing it! Can't you put a stop to this?"

"Oh he'd like to," Tony pauses as the food is placed on the table. When the waitress is gone he continues. "He's gone to Fury many times about ending the whole thing, just track Madame Hydra down to ask her outright but he won't. In fact if it was up to him your brother would've been taken into questioning a long time ago. Clint's held him at bay."

"Your real name, that's right." Elliot is silent for a few minutes then runs a hand through his hair. "I'm guessing I can't tell him any of this?"

"No."

"Okay but you have to find out who's stealing money from him! I've heard what happens when S.H.I.E.L.D gets a hold of you."

"We'll do our best Elliot."

"Now that that's outta the way, who wants to eat?" We both smile as the conversation veers into other directions. When we finish Tony drops us off outside of Elliot's new office where we find Christian waiting.

"I tried calling you." He sees Tony and raises an eyebrow. Elliot jumps over the door.

"Fury's only giving you another couple of weeks," Tony whispers. I nod. I'll figure this out.

"Thanks. Tell Thor he better stay away from my Skyrim file." Ever since we introduced Thor to video games he's been addicted. Bruce even bout him a 3DS XL for a present. Skyrim's been his favorite game lately. Something about dragons I guess.

"Alright. Nice meeting you Elliot." Tony revs up the engine. "Call me later Merida, I hate feeling like you're cheating on me!" Elliot laughs as he speeds away. Christian gives me the look again. I have a feeling if there's one more thing that happens, I'm out.

Problem # 99

I yawn, trying to cover it. I've accompanied Grey and Ana to his parents house where they've just announced their engagement. I'm driving them to dinner after this so he wanted me to wait inside. Elliot's been talking my ear off. We've become closer since he found out my real identity. I also keep him up to date on what's going on. He's tried discreetly asking his brother himself but he's gotten nowhere. Out the corner of my eye I catch Mrs. Lincoln and Ana talking away from everyone. Looks like it's getting heated. Maybe I should interfere.  
"What if it's Mrs. Lincoln?" Elliot snaps a finger. "Christian's given her plenty of money for the beauty salon. What if she's used it for other stuff?" I'd never given that a thought before but it would explain why we couldn't find any trails. "He wouldn't even suspect. But I don't know… stupid right?" Elliot shrugs and downs his drink. "That doesn't look good." Mrs. Lincoln's voice has risen. Grey has stepped into it now. The more I think about it the more I think Elliot's onto something.

"Oh my god!" Mia Grey gasps. Mrs. Grey has just slapped her supposed friend. I wish I could hear what exactly happened. I study Mrs. Lincoln as she's obviously thrown out. She walks away with her head held high until she passes me. Our gazes lock. OH SHIT! She stops and her eyes narrow. We've never really been around each other, maybe just in passing. She's never looked twice at me til now.

"What are you doing here?" She hisses easing away from me.

"I was wondering the same about you. How long have you been doing this? This your side project when HYDRA doesn't need you?"

"Uh Jason what's going on?" Elliot whispers.

"You were right."

"I was?"

"He was right about what?" Grey asks striding up. "You were told to leave Elena."

"Shut up! I could kill you! I could kill all of you! Instead I'll settle for him." She whips a gun out from under her dress. Gasps fill the room. My eyes catch an old bow hanging over the mantle. Elliot sees it too. He begins to ease away.

"Elena calm down. I know you're upset but-"

"Shut up you bitch!" She cuts off Mrs. Grey. "I only want him."

"Why Taylor? He's done nothing to you," Grey says.

"Oh he has, his team has on more than one occasion but no more." Her accent is starting to creep through. She tugs off her very convincing blond wig. Dark locks tumble out. Judging by the expressions, no one knew. As she wipes some of her make up off, Elliot tosses me the bow along with a few arrows.

"I wish you would've just gone without the wig and makeup the whole time. Would've made my job a hella of a lot easier." We're both aiming at each other while circling the room. Everyone's given us a wide berth.

"Nick Fury had to send his little bird to spy on me?" She laughs. "Did you find out what you needed to know?"

"You just confirmed it. Mr. Grey you've been funding HYDRA through this woman, Elena Robinson AKA Madame Hydra."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D and was sent to figure out where the money was going and how she was getting it. I'm guessing whatever you gave towards the beauty salon helped fund other things. It was actually Elliot's idea."

"What's going on?" Ana asks in confusion. "Who's S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"Better yet who are you Taylor?" Mia Grey asks.

"My name is Clint Barton, Hawkeye."

"He's an Avenger!" Madame Hydra says in disgust. With that, she starts shooting. I let an arrow fly at her gun, disarming her. That really pisses her off. She lunges at me and from there we trade kicks and punches. I hate fighting against women, not because I'm some awesome gentlemen but because if I get hurt Thor won't let me live it down. Though he really can't talk with the problems he gets into involving The Enchantress. I duck a kick meant for my head. Then counter with one of my own sending her into the large, glass windows. When I go to grab her, she grabs my wrist instead and with a surprising amount of power sends me flying out the window. I land painfully on glass and grass outside.

"Clint get up!" Elliot shouts. "Leave him alone!" Madame Hydra kicks me swiftly in the head. I hear Ana cry out. Get it together Barton! Madame Hydra's cackling the entire time as she kicks me across the lawn. I manage to get my head out the clouds long enough to counter another kick, pushing her away. Shakily, I get to my feet just as a black helicopter swoops over.

"That would be my ride. Next time we meet you won't be so lucky little bird." A rope ladder comes down but instead of it being HYDRA goons inside, it's S.H.I.E.L.D. A familiar red head slides down, tosses me my real bow and arrows and stands behind Madame Hydra.

"Damn you!" She tries to run but an arrow with electric shock stuns her. She lays there helpless as Natasha places heavy-duty restrainers on her hands.

"What took you so long?" I ask walking up.

"Nice to see you too. We have everything we need."

"Agent Barton." Fury is standing underneath the helicopter. Maria Hill is right behind him. "Excellent work." To the other agents he says, "Please escort Madame Hydra to her escape vehicle. Where is Mr. Grey?" He walks over carefully with Ana still attached to his arm. The rest of the friends and family are easing their over except Elliot. He runs over to slap me on the back.

"You had me scared for a second Clint! I thought she was going to kill you."

"I like to make her feel she has a fighting chance." I smirk. He laughs and slings an arm around my shoulder. He's the only one who looks remotely comfortable after what's just happened.

"What's going on?" Christian Grey asks me.

"I'm sorry sir but my name isn't Jason Taylor. It's Clint Barton and I work for S.H.I.E.L.D…well sometimes."

"We had reason to believe you were funding HYDRA," Fury cuts in. "So I had one of my best agents go undercover to see what he could find out. We've monitoring Madame Hydra off and on but never would've connected her to you. Her disguise was pretty damn good as was her covering up her trail."

"Elena is a terrorist?"

"No. The real Elena is dead. We found her body a couple days ago."

"Elena…I never would've wished death on her." Mrs. Grey is comforted by her husband.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln did support HYDRA for their own reasons. However I believe the pair had a falling out with the organization. Mr. Lincoln has been missing for some time while his wife was killed and impersonated for almost a year."

"And I've been giving her money for the salon. I can't believe this." Grey shakes his head as if trying to wake himself then looks at me. "You. So there never was a Taylor?"

"No sir."

"Don't be too upset Mr. Grey. I wanted to bring your ass in for questioning because of my growing impatience but Agent Barton was the only reason I didn't," Fury tells him.

"That day I saw you two with Tony Stark, is that when you found out Elliot?"

"Yeah. Sworn to secrecy."

"Thank you," Ana comes up. "Thank you for stopping her Tayl-Er I mean…"

"Clint is fine."

"Clint." We shake hands.

"Yes thank you." Grey holds a hand out too.

"No problem sir."

"Christian."

"Okay Christian."

"Well now that all that's out of the way let's wrap this up people!" Fury strides back to his helicopter. Natasha pulls out a phone that shows a holographic image of Cap.

"Did you get him?"

"He's with me right now."

"Hey Cap," I wave to the image.

"Good to see you again Clint. Tony finally showed me how to use this damn thing. We're on our way there. An AIM experiment got loose downtown." Sure enough an alarm goes off in the helicopter. We really need a west coast team.

"Let's go you two!" Fury shouts.

"Avengers Assemble!" Cap orders before the image cuts off. We have our marching orders. Natasha and I hop aboard just as it takes off. I give a final wave to my old employer and his family as we head off.

"Will you miss it?" Natasha asks.

"Hell no! This is more like it!" I grin as grab an arrow. She gives me a rare smile back and pulls out a gun. There's no place like home.

Problem #1

"Come on Thor! What the hell!"

"I cannot help it if you…what is the word I am looking for Tony?"

"I believe it would be 'suck'."

"Ahhh yes. I cannot help it if you suck friend."

"I don't suck! I'm a master at Tekken!"

"Not anymore," Bruce snorts. I toss the controller to Steve in annoyance as Ken loses for the fifth time to Ryu.

"This is bullshit!"

"Do not be a sore loser Clint. I am sure there are little girls you can still beat."

"Hardy har har." It's a Sunday at Avengers Mansion. Yeah we have a house. I still can't believe Tony built it. Now whenever a bad guy wants to kill us, they can just ring the doorbell. Literally. It's a nice place though. We're all gathered in the living room playing video games.

"Who should I pick?" It's taken Steve a lot longer to take to gaming unlike Thor.  
"Chun Li," Natasha tells him.

"Blanka!" Tony adds. Bruce just keeps sipping his soda and looking over his papers.

"It matters not because you will lose all the same," Comes Thor's reply. Cocky bastard. Steve has finally settled on Guile, go figure, when the doorbell rings. I'm expecting guests today and am happy to see when T'challa walks them in. He's our newest recruit and just as smart as Tony but doesn't insult me with stupid names. I tell Tony all the time he's been replaced. Usually gets me one of the appliances messing up on me at random times.

"Clint, your guests have arrived." T'challa then takes a seat next to Bruce.

"Hawkguy!" The little squirt runs up to me. I toss him in the air as his parents look on. It wasn't hard to track the kid down. His parents were happy to see he wasn't imagining things, well his mom anyway. His dad always believed him since he recognized me too.

"Thor!" He literally launches him from my arms. Thor catches him, laughing the whole time and tosses him to Steve. He ruffles his hair then places him on Tony's shoulders where he bounces up and down. Bruce grabs him and gives him a playful Hulk roar and hands him to T'challa who pats his head. Then Nathan spots Natasha. We all tense as he jumps over to her. 'She'll let him fall', we're all thinking but she doesn't. The serious woman known as The Black Widow, catches him, laughs and spins him around a couple of times then hands him back to me. We're all pretty damn stunned.

"Are we in the Twilight Zone?" Tony asks which gets him a hit upside the head from her. "Much better."

"Thank you for doing this. I still can't believe we're in the Avengers Mansion, can I take pictures?" Dad asks. Tony nods, even takes a few for him. While they're doing that, Mom comes up to me to thank me again.

"What I can't believe is that Christian Grey of all people paid for our tickets and hotel. He put us up in the nicest suite." Grey felt he owed me for all I'd done so I asked him to pay for Nathan's family to visit. He agreed without hesitation. I still talk to him from time to time. Elliot on the other hand, we talk almost every day. Couldn't get rid of the guy if I wanted to. They're all supposed to visit in a few weeks. Nathan's in the middle of rooting Thor on in his beat down of Steve when the alarm goes off.

"Sir," Jarvis begins. "HYDRA is in the middle of attempting to break Madame Hydra out."

"Awesome. I was beginning to think our day was too quiet."

"Avengers let's go!" Cap orders.

"Nathan I have important Avengers stuff to do. You wanna wait here for me?"

"Yeah!" He nods.

"Alright. Shouldn't take long," I tell his parents as I set him down.

"Come on Hakwguy!" Tony yells. Ninety nine problems and the Avengers are number one. Wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
